I’m still catching up from my own blackout and it had nothing to do with Emperor Hutchins‘ will this time.  Lost within my own cablelessness I missed the promo for 7th Son Obsidian Wednesday and you all know how much I love pimping these people to you.  Not to mention how anxious I am to get lost within the world of 7th Son again.

So, I’m considering this promo to be the start of my saline drip and only hope it lasts till May 31st.  Enjoy.  I know I will.

HOOO BOY! The weather last night was CRAZY here! I was visiting GeminiFatcat when the weather went to HELLZORS! It was crazy. There were tornado warnings and stuff. Crazy Crazy. We ended up holed up in her inside bathroom with her three cats waiting for her husband to get home and for the storms to break long enough for me to run away and try to beat the next cell nack to my own home. Crazy stuff.  (Gem here - we lost the cable service for over 24 hours after that storm, hence the delay with the post.)

So… speaking of crazy.. let’s discuss Salad Fingers, shall we?

I think that this Mister David Firth guy was probably dropped once or thrice as a little baby.. or.. maybe spent a night of two in a grave.. or something because this Salad Fingers thing.. is FREAKIN CREEPY AS HELL!!!!! it’s a flash animation about a character named, predictably enough, Salad Fingers (I’m guessing) and each episode gets progressively more bothersome.

I’m serious. I was showing some Salad Fingers to Gem and she made me shut it off after just two shows!

I don’t EVEN know what else to say about this but GO.. Check it out.. Especially at night when you’re alone in the house and it’s dark out. Totally. Creepier than Freddy Kreuger!

Salad Fingers
And Salad Fingers Merchandise

Watch the show. Get creeped out, then buy something to help keep this freak creative

Rating:

Elizabethan England is one of my favorite times to read about and when Philippa Ballantine mixes it with the world of the Fae you get a captivating story. With main characters such as William Shakespeare, Puck and The Dark Goddess Sive you’re promised a good story, and the story delivers. The weaving of the tale, of the worlds, and Shakespeare’s interaction in both, makes me wonder if A Midsummer Night’s Dream would have been better as A Midsummer’s Nightmare.

I can genuinely say that Chasing the Bard is a splendid story, the worlds and characters are both well researched and well developed. Philippa displays a personal level of pleasure regarding the Bard in her writing, it breaths a certain fascination of Shakespeare from the pages when he’s on the scene. All the characters are so well created that you are left wondering who the real main character is, or is there a focus on a single character at all. Either way, the story works.

Having finished the book I found myself surprised. I love the story, I enjoy the characters, but I liked the villain, Mordant, more than I liked Sive. Pointedly, while I enjoyed Sive, I actually detested her. I found her to be a completely unlikable character with few redeeming qualities until you reach the last pages of the novel. To me she came off as self-centered and willing to stop at nothing to get just what she wanted, no matter who she had to use and run over to get it. This is not usually the case for me, I usually love the main characters.

That didn’t make the novel any less enjoyable. The other characters make up for Sive’s shortcomings by far. Eventually, as I said, she does become redeemable, but that doesn’t mean I liked her any better. That could easily have to do with my own favoritism toward Puck, so don’t judge the character simply by what I have to say about her. Try it out for yourself.

For the plot itself, as you know, I always feel that a blurb can speak better than I can, and this way I avoid spoiling an element as well:

Born into the human world with a gift; a gift that brings him to the attention of powers both dark and light from the World of the Fey, it is his burden to defend all the world.

Sive, the goddess of battle, hopes that he may be able to change the fate of her people.The Fey are dying, killed by something beyond the boundaries of worlds, and Sive will do anything to save them. So she enlists the help of her trickster cousin Puck to guard the child, and watch him grow into his gift. But a dark power imprisoned by human and Fey, plots to destroy both worlds, and unmake all that they have created.

Can one boy stop the destruction, even if he is William Shakespeare?

Currently Philippa is releasing the story via podcast in weekly episodes. We’re currently up to episode seven and it’s worth listening to. She’s got an excellent cast, each one with a dreamy voice of their own. I do encourage people to check it out and enjoy the story. If you get hooked and can’t wait to see how it all ends you can pick up the book here and here.

Rating:

The Hutch, JC Hutchins, is at it again, proving once more that he is indeed more viral than the Dark Overlord. He has decided to overtake our cellphones people and you, too, can become a portable minion of Hutchins.

Text “Join 7thson” to 69937 to get exclusive mobile content for 7th Son Obsidian and join the clones.

Ooh Golly.. Golly golly golly.. where the heck do I begin?

Okay, let’s start with kick @$$ murder death kill assassin for the Lord, Father Bernard Campion.

This catholic priest (small C intentional) is an assassin. He, uh.. kills people for the pope. Well, at least he DID. That was back in Vatican Assassin. But I’m talking about Vatican Ambassador now. In this book he – um – ambassadors . . . for the – err – moon. He’s a space priest, see? A priest in space.. with a laser gun, libido and inner dialog that just won’t quit.

In the last novel. BC kinda stirred up a hornet’s nest. He was sent to assassinate the mayor of a moon colony and – you know – one thing leads to another.. war breaks out. He has some adventures, bonks his head a couple times – and everything pretty much goes to the Day-Vihl (“devil” with a southern drawl, work with me here, folks)

Vatican Ambassador is a space opera romp. There’s space, there’s romping, there’s technology, People get blown up. There’s a whole new world out there – well, several new worlds, ’cause we live on the moon and mars and stuff. There’s moon people, space religion, galactic babes, war ships, sub plots that spiral off into the deepest reaches of the universe and more inner dialog that than you can shake a stick at. I mean, I just wanna shake the MC like a British Nanny and say “GET THE schmeck OUT OF YOUR HEAD! STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF!!” There’s just no opera, though – not really – but Space Opera doesn’t really need singing.

It’s pretty unique, actually. You got a main character who’s about as messed up in the head and confused as he can be. I mean - he’s a friggin confused killer priest, and the audience gets to witness his bent decision–making process throughout the story. The author writes in a style I’ve never encountered before- sort of a tongue-in-cheek ironic / sarcastic 3rd person / first person present tense mesh. It’s neat.

Campion’s life is a friggin train wreck. Everything’s just going to fashizzle, but I just can’t tear my eyes (ears?) away. I mean seriously! If something can go wrong for this dude, it does, but he deserves it all, cause he friggin KILLS people for a living (or used to) so it’s OKAY to giggle when he gets his @$$ kicked scene after scene.

You know, I haven’t seen any aliens yet. And that’s actually kinda cool, huh? Scifi, we’re in space zooming around in ships and stuff, and the existence of extra terrestrial life is still a mystery. Hmm, well, I guess since we have humans on the moon and mars that, well, we ARE the extra terrestrial life. But you know what I mean. We’re zipping from planet to planet and we ain’t seen no nonhumans yet.

So, that’s pretty cool.

Now, you may be staring at the word “Vatican” with some degree of trepidation. I did too, but then I’m just sick and tired of hearing about religions fighting to take over the friggin world rather than tending to the needs of their flocks. (Don’t worry, there is a Space God cult that addresses this) *I* am getting through this story (and got through the first novel) by replacing all the religion names with “Space God”. *nodnods* It works! “Space god people on Mars are pizzed off at Space God people on Earth because the Earthies have kicked the Marzies off the planet and blew up all their holy sites, and the moon is trapped in the middle where the MC, who’s on the Earth Space God side…”

Vatican Ambassador is an ongoing podio story about a man’s attempts to clean up the mess made in the previous book. And, dudes – seriously – mess!

What issues people seemed to have with the technical aspect of the first performance (reading at 900 MPH, or as I like to call it, Texas Speed – some sound over-cleaning – stuff like that) have been fixed for this work. Mr. Luoma reads much more casually and steadily this time around, and is a bit easier to listen to.

I can’t rate this story low because it is somewhat addictive. I do not regret listening to the first one, and I am listening to this one as it updates. I don’t hate it. It does kill me a little bit here and there, but I do not feel it’s a bad waste of time. However, I can’t give it really high marks, because it falls kinda’ way outside my usual reading comfort zone. I just don’t really have a whole lot of interest in the future of earth’s religions. (Frankly, I hope they ALL evaporate – I personally can’t WAIT to get left behind so at lest they’d all quit shooting at me) This story doesn’t have me on the edge of my seat. Imho, the main character is a pretty loathsome slug who really kinda deserves to be jettisoned into space. Can he redeem himself? Will he? Maybe, maybe not. But you know what? My real world frustration with organized religion really does add a certain depth to this plot for me. So, it definitely has an IMPACT.

You know, lemme yammer about that. Impact. This story does have something of an impact. Sure, okay, it murders me a little bit. But I still wanna see how he cleans up the mess he helped make in the first book. I wanna see if these two huge, warring factions finally get a clue and work things out or just Blorking fight until the end of time. OOH maybe we’ll get to see them be the extinction of each other! I am intrigued. And like I said, I have every intention to follow this story to the end.

There is a third novel in the series, and depending on how THIS novel wraps up, I may or may not get into it as well. I’m at the point where I don’t wanna leave without having taken in the entire story, BUT there might be more compelling ways to waste my time. We’ll see.

So if you like feel-good ending, easy to sallow stories, then perhaps you should steer clear of this one.  However, if you like gritty and dark, speculative fiction about a possible future for Earth religions, then by all means, give it a listen. It’s not so hard core scifi that the reader gets lost in the technics, but there’s enough science to reinforce the scenery of a futuristic world. AND, if you like stories in which there are ramifications for events, then, Ambassador really does give you a glimpse of that.

There are plenty of reasons to tune in – to check out this novel, and there are some why you might prefer to give it a miss. If you’re on the fence, go ahead and check it out. Especially if you’ve just finished listening to the first. It does wrap up some loose ends that I think you’ll appreciate being tied off.

Rating:

I got home this afternoon and found some sadness in my Twitter.  Podcast contributor C.A. Sizemore lost his wife unexpectedly this morning.  The Twitter Tribe has come out in force and a fundraising service has been set up to help C.A. in this troubled time.

Chris Lester has more details on his blog.  If you have a few moments to spare I would ask you to take a look, and if you have even a dollar to spare consider sending it and enjoy the feel good tingle you would get from the small donation and helping out.

FM and I extend our sincerest condolences to C.A. and his family.

–Gem

I have to admit that after reading, and hearing, this story that my favorite line is still the title of chapter one. “Trouble is a Princess in High Heels” are the first words you see in this novel. That is…after pesky details like the book title, Billibub Baddings and the Case of the Singing Sword, and the author, some dink by the name of Tee Morris.

It’s also a rather prophetic line, especially for the detective in question. The princess in question is Billi’s latest client and she hires him to go poking his Acryonis nose in a mob boss’ business. Bad enough for poor Billi that he’s a detective at all, but to be one in Capone’s 1920’s Chicago?! Good thing consolation is as easy to find as Mick’s chili.

Billibub is one of the most well developed characters I have ever had the privilege of reading about. Tee has done a fantastic job with Billi, rounding him out with snippets of his past in Acryonis while showing his growth into the position of an average Chicago detective. Okay, maybe not so average considering he’s a Dwarf.

Case of the Singing Sword is one part Shannara and two parts Michael Connelly, meshing fantasy and mystery perfectly. Tee has outdone himself here, topping even his work with Morevi. But I’ll let the book speak for itself:

The Case of the Singing Sword is set in the Prohibition Era, where crime runs rampant in the streets and a city divided into territories serves as the ultimate prize. Somewhere in this Underworld of Chicago, an enchanted weapon holds the key to ending The Gangland Wars. In the wake of The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, only one is man enough to stand up against Al Capone…
…a four-foot-one dwarf named Billibub Baddings.

If you can’t get your hands on the book itself I certainly encourage you to check out the podcast, Tee has a massive, and entertaining, cast for Billibub. Additionally you’ll want to get caught up fast as Billi’s Crazy Eights is approaching quickly. That’s right, Billibub Baddings and the Case of the Pitcher’s Pendant comes out on August 8th.

So what are you sitting here reading this for ya dinks?! Get your hands on Billibub already.

Rating:

Good afternoon dear readers.  I don’t know how many of you have noticed that we’re not adding as many pictures to the posts as we did before hand.  Something glitched badly in the upgrade to Wordpress and I’m no longer able to upload items for display.  And I have a few too many morals to bog down other people’s bandwidth by linking to their pictures just to display them.

Until this issue can be resolved we will be posting sans pictures, cover art, etc.

Thank you for reading.

I turn –GULP- thirty next month.  That said I had the privilege of growing up in the ‘80s and having reliable Saturday Morning Cartoons.  Being a kid in this era rocked.  Entertainment out the wazoo, and while we had the Atari and the Coleco-vision and eventually the Nintendo, but I was most interested in my cartoons.

I remember spending my mornings watching The Chipmunks, Smurfs, Snorks, and later Captain N the Game Master and Jem and the Holograms.  I still have fond memories of Shirt Tails and don’t even get me started on He-Man and She-Ra.  Gah!

Of all of those at I admit to enjoying most was my first known dose of Anime.  Sure, there was G-Force, but I never missed an episode of Voltron.  The rest of them were easily forgotten while the Lions filled a half an hour of my childhood mornings.  I loved watching the sequence when the Voltron crew would get into their Lions, from the zip lines to the lift chair with that pounding battle music in the background.  I could easily envision the victory that Voltron would bring.

I never felt bad for Lothor, always got fed up with the Princess, though I’ll admit she was pretty cool considering she drove Blue Lion.  The minute Keith called to “Form Blazing Sword” those poor little robeasts should have tucked their tails up and taken off before they were sliced and diced.

Confession time – I found out Boomerang is showing Voltron again.  I haven’t missed an episode since I found it.  Nearly thirty and I still enjoy an 80’s cartoon about mechanical Lions; still cheering when they descend into the depths to board their Lions, and grinning like a fool when the blazing sword comes out.

Ah how I miss the hours lost as a child, glued to the adventures of the Saturday Morning Cartoons.  Is there one you miss?  One you’ve found playing again after all these years?  That one guilty pleasure of animation?  Confess yourself here and share your geekdom.

I sincerely dislike leaving you with nothing while my computer is doing its slow arse virus scan and monthly maintenance (that I started last night and am still going though).  Therefore I’ll hit you with a couple of quickies and an idea for things to look for in the coming months.

In the last week I caught two films that I was interested in and wasn’t hedging any bets with.  The ads for Accepted and The Covenant left me wanting and worried the best things were in the ads.  I love being wrong when it comes to movies.

Accepted, with Apple’s own Justin Long, was a cute flick regarding the rejection of a student into so many colleges that he built his own just to shut his parents up.  While the first ten minutes left a raw taste in my mouth with the constant nagging about college and how he was worthless because he didn’t get accepted the taste was quickly gone.  The school that Bartleby Gaines built was one that I wouldn’t have minded attending.  What was a sham in the beginning quickly became an ideal school that fostered creativity and learning instead of destroying the mind with dull material you won’t remember by midterm.  It had an educational and creative atmosphere that revolved around everyone being able to teach someone something.  All it lacked were credentials.  Very good flick, one I highly recommend for both humor and its eye opening look at schools today.

The Covenant worried me.  Delving into the realm of witchcraft, power and the Salem witch trials the film looked like a flop.  While not being based in the time period of the trials, it is instead about the male descendants of some of the accused and how they come into and use/abuse their powers.  There’re no spells, no “The Craft” bullshit, and nothing that could convince people power like this was real in today’s society, making it more acceptable since you won’t have your kids trying to change their hair with silly incantations.  Long story short, you have four out of five descendants thinking the fifth family died out in Ipswich only to find out that there was a son and now he wants your arses for leaving him out in the cold.  For a “I’m gonna kick your arse” revenge movie, it was rather good and something I recommend for renting.

There’s your quickies…  more to come this month that will include full reviews of Tee Morris’ Billibub Baddings and the Case of the Singing Sword, Philippa Ballantine’s Chasing the Bard; Anne Bishop’s Dreams Made Flesh & Tangled Webs; Marc Gunn’s The Cat Lover’s Podcast; Scott Sigler’s The Rookie and that’s just in the lines of books and podcasts and the very tip of the mountain.

Until next time, remember if you’re going to waste time, waste it well….  Like I am.. maintaining my system so I can keep writing for you.