Directed by Trey Parker
Staring Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Dian Bachar, Robyn Lynne, Michael Dean Jacobs and Ron Jeremy
Released in 1997

I know, with a name like Orgazmo you’re expecting some cheesy porno movie. Well… you’re kind of half right. And with names like Trey Parker and Matt Stone there’s almost a requirement to be a South Park fan to enjoy this film. Almost.

Orgazmo is about a Mormon named Joe Young (Parker) who knocks on Maxxx Orbison’s (Jacobs) door and winds up in a cheesy action porno because he can fight. Joe winds up with a crisis of faith because they’re offering him enough money to marry his fiancée Lisa (Lynne) in the Mormon Temple like she wants to if he does the film.

Rechristened as Joe Hung he takes the job and meets his sidekick Ben Chapleski (Bachar) and they have to battle Clark (Jeremy) in the film. The little action porno becomes a raging success and Young is trying to make sure that no one ties him to the actor Hung when disaster strikes.

Orgazmo is definitely not to be seen by the younger audience because it does have heavy sexual content, but it is not an actual porn flick. The movie is ripe with South Park humor and crass but without the real insanity that drives to insult the world like the cartoon does. Harmless and mindless fun for the older audience.

Rating:

Directed by George Miller
Staring Elijah Wood, Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman, Robin Williams, Brittany Murphy and Hugo Weaving
Released 2006

Okay, so I’m breaking my faith with the old again and posting something more contemporary. Can’t help it and you were kind of warned in the opening posts that I’d be writing about this when it came out on DVD… which Sloane was very smart to bring home with him when he came home. I’m surprised he didn’t hold it before him like a shield and was even more surprised he understood the “Mumble” text message I sent him midway through the day. Given my love of penguins this was a must see when it hit the theater last November and I got lucky… got to see it in the IMAX with a large group of the Austin NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, more on that in November) Penguins.

This movie is harmless fun with lots of music and not so sugar coated messages about the environment and the risk of fishing out the oceans as well as trying to teach a tolerance and adjustment to accept those who are different than you. The messages are great for children, but with Robin Williams voicing two characters I would have hesitated to take them to see it. Rated PG for crude humor (and according to IMDB “mild peril”).

So, what is this all about? It’s about a colony of Emperor Penguins who find their mates through song and a baby penguin named Mumble (Wood) who implements his “heartsong” though his feet. Mumble’s parents Norma Jean (Kidman) and Memphis (Jackman) are split on how to think of the kid. To Memphis, Mumbles dancing just “isn’t penguin”, but Norma Jean simply doesn’t care and accepts her son as he is. Gloria (Murphy) is one of the first penguins Mumble meets when he hatches and they’re close friends until penguin graduation.

After graduation Mumbles meets the Amigos, which are lead by Ramon (Williams) who introduce him to Lovelace (also Williams) to answer some questions that Mumble has. Returning to his colony he winds up being exiled by Noah (Weaving) and leaves with the Amigos to find his own answers.

And that’s all I’m telling you. Anything else will completely spoil the story and it’s definitely one to add to the collection. The voice cast is amazing and includes the talents of the late Steve Irwin. But I think, other than just enjoying the story, my favorite thing about Happy Feet is trying to identify all the snippets of music the penguins sing; Prince, Boys 2 Men, Mr. Mister, Salt N Pepa, and Elvis. And the important thing here is that they chose actors who could sing, so everything is done by the vocal cast instead of old recordings.

Oh, yes… two things before I forget. Brittany Murphy does a very good rendition of Queen’s “Somebody to Love” and Savion Glover (he apprenticed to Gregory Hines) provided all the dancing for Mumble.  The film earned its Best Animated Feature Oscar.

Rating:

By Anne Bishop
Published 1999

Everything has a price.

Now that you’ve been turned upside down by the events in Daughter of the Blood, let the shaking begin when you read Heir to the Shadows.

The second novel in the Black Jewels Trilogy will do just that as you delver deeper into the lives of the Blood. We pick up scant months after the conclusion of Daughter, where Witch lies unconscious, but healing, in the protective custody of the High Lord.

In the five years covered by this novel you discover that everything has a price. From when Jaenelle wakes with no memory of what occurred in Cassandra’s Alter to the damage that spoken words can do to a fragile soul.

Here you’ll meet Jaenelle’s friends from the Shadow Realm of Kaeleer, and get a deeper understanding of how important Witch is to them. Lurking, however, and always scheming are those who want to control Witch and use her well of strength for their own greedy natures. Everything has a price, and for most the price is a personal sacrifice.

I don’t need to go on and on about these books, I think you figured out how much I love the Blood novels in the first post I wrote about Anne Bishop’s trilogy. The core trilogy (Daughter, Heir and Queen) is a roller coaster ride, and we all know what the middle of the roller coaster feels like…

Rating:

I can’t remember if the actual memory of Queen’s music came with Flash Gordon or Highlander. I do remember I was young… eight or nine I think. I remember getting a further introduction to their music because it was a bonding experience with my Dad, kicking back on the floor of my parents’ room while he played A Night at the Opera for me.

Given the amount of music Queen had released by the time I was eight, I’m sure I probably heard some of it before then and just didn’t know who sang it. At that age I don’t think I cared about any music other than what my mother listened to. Still, the time we spent listening to Queen opened a door of commonality for us and he has had a great influence on my taste in music.

I digress however. I’m here to discuss Queen, not my past.

I think what brings this particular post is a wonder if Freddie Mercury would approve of the advertisement use of their music, were he still with us today. Coke used “I Want to Break Free” for their Coke Half or whatever it was and now Dr Pepper is using “I Want it All” for Diet Dr Pepper and I know I’ve heard another set of advertisements using one of their songs, but at the moment its not coming to mind. It’s probably the Harry Chapin I have playing on the radio at the moment, but that’s a whole different subject and musician, isn’t it.

I do know that while the ads don’t drive me to go out and get a Coke or a Dr Pepper, they do drive me to computer and my massive collection of Queen discs. After that introduction to their music I glutted myself on Queen’s music. I still find myself looking through the selection at the music store to see if there’s anything I don’t have. There are a few, admittedly, that I’m missing, but the three collections of their greatest hits keep me sane on a bad day.

I always found their music uplifting, despite some of the connotations of the songs. There are days I tend to think of “The Show Must Go On” as my theme song. Then again, I’m sure everyone has theme songs and they just don’t share them.

I know, after having only been introduced to their music in those tender years that I was distraught when I learned of Mercury’s death in 1991; got my hands on Innuendo as quickly as I could since it was the last of Queen’s recordings. That disc has another of my personal favorites with the song “I’m Going Slightly Mad,” which I recommend for anyone having one of those nervous breakdown days. Read the rest of this entry »

In my baby kick start for games I mentioned Mario Kart. I’m not real big into the whole Grand Theft Auto and other racing games, but Mario Kart was always a fun and addictive favorite.

The original incarnation of Mario Kart came out on the Super Nintendo and gave you three circuits (I think… writing from memory here) to race within allowing you to win the Mushroom Cup, Flower Cup and Star Cup. Once you placed Gold in those three circuits you were given entry to the Special Cup with the infamous Rainbow Road (I hate that track!!). Defeat that and you win the game.

What I enjoyed most about Mario Kart was the character selection and the things you could do to your opponents. In the original version you were allowed to select from Mario and Luigi, Toad and the Princess, Yoshi, Bowser and Donkey Kong Jr. I’m probably forgetting someone here, but I’m not sure who.

As for what you get to do to your opponents, that was just fun. You could throw banana peels at them, knock them around with aimed and/or heat seeking shells, shrink them, even blow past them using one of the Invincibility Stars, and that’s not even all of it.

The glory of the game is that it went with Nintendo as they upgraded consoles. It’s made appearances on the Nintendo 64 and many of the Gameboys. Most of those I whimpered and moved on, consoles I never got my hands on and a favorite game going on without me.

The DS however… (that would be Nintendo Dual Screen)… made a bundle pack when Mario Kart DS came out and well… I admit I almost knocked over an employee at a Game Stop when I finally found one.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m going to start my games category finally with just a bit of fluff and fun.  Friend of mine posted this little quiz link on a message boards for an NWN (Neverwinter Nights) mod I play on.

The little quiz goes over old console games and there’s some tough questions in there, but then again I was never into the old FPS (First Person Shooter) or the “I’m gonna kick someone’s ass” fighting games.

Essentially it identifies what percentage of gaming geek you are.  Mine’s 72% and I missed some basic questions….  Really sucks when I miss out on a question from Mario Kart and it’s one of my favorite console games.

So, give it a shot and if you’re geek enough, add your percentage to the comments.

The Ultimate Game Quiz

Directed by Dean Parisot
Staring Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tony Shalhoub, Sam Rockwell, and Daryl Mitchell
Released 1999

Yes, the staring section above is limited only to the crew of the Galaxy Quest. If I put everyone’s name it would be the longest cast list yet, one which includes Violet’s mom from the recent Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and “Apple” from the Apple vs. PC ads. So if you’d like to see the whole cast list, click here.

That said, I love this movie and think the whole cast was very well put together. It’s a fantastic spoof of all things Star Trek, up to and including the conventions, and Tim Allen’s character Jason Nesmith lampoons Shatner and Kirk beautifully.

I like to think there are few who haven’t seen this film, but I know that there are people who haven’t. Whether it’s a dislike of spoofing Star Trek or what not, I think it’s a shame to have missed Galaxy Quest.

The story is brilliant, but unlikely, where Jason Nesmith, Gwen DeMarco (Weaver), Alexander Dane (Rickman) Fred Kwan (Shalhoub), and Tommy Webber (Mitchell) are attending the Galaxy Quest convention and are transported with Guy (Rockwell) to a real NSEA Protector to help save the remnants of the Thermian race.

And I never thought I could so easily sum up the plot of this film with one long, run-on sentence. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing, for explaining Galaxy Quest. Then again, I think the same thing could be done for most Star Trek episodes, so maybe it’s not so bad after all.

There really isn’t much more I can say about this film. Not without completely destroying all the comedic content. I would advise you read lips, especially Weaver’s toward the end. They had to re-dub some lines to keep a low rating and it’s rather amusing. Keep an eye out for multiple references to Star Trek and in a few places the Aliens franchise.

So, “By Grabthar’s Hammer” I sincerely recommend this film as an addition to any comedic movie library.

Rating:

Directed by Edward Zwick
Staring Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, Cary Elwes, Morgan Freeman and Andre Braugher
Released in 1989

Glory, like Shawshank Redemption, is one of my definitive top five films, not just one of five that I like. I remember the first time I saw it and being shocked and awed by a cannonball removing a body part. The struggle the members of the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry went though, just through the course of the film, was simply incredible; from being nothing but a pretty decoration for the Northern Armies to one of the most recognized infantry squads. I think what makes this movie awe inspiring is that it is based off the letters of Robert Gould Shaw. Sometimes films that are based off true stories are the most enjoyable.

Shaw (Broderick) is put in charge of the infantry by request and he brings with him two friends, Major Cabot Forbes (Elwes) and Corporal Thomas Searles (Braugher), who is a free black man. Among the men who have volunteered to join the infantry are Private Trip (Washington) and Sergeant Major John Rawlins (Freeman).

These five characters are essentially the central focus of the film, most times directly centered on Trip and Shaw. Trip was a run away slave, who has joined the infantry with a serious chip on his shoulder, and causes some trouble among the men he bunks with. Rawlins, one of the first black men ever promoted above Private or Corporal, was a grave digger who decided to come fight instead of bury the men who did. He and Trip balance one another out, providing some calm to the fury.

It is the growth, however, that every man in the infantry shows that makes this movie worth watching. Yes, it is a historically accurate piece, but within that history you see the lives of these men and what they go though to defend their country.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, this is a war film, and you do see a great deal of carnage, especially since the Civil War was hardly civil and they weren’t discussing battles over tea and crumpets. That carnage isn’t left to the battlefield either. You see a great deal of ick in the camp as well; ex-slaves with no shoes or socks whose feet are torn and battered from marching and Trip being flogged for suspected desertion.

I could go on and on for hours about Glory and there’s not a lot I would say that could spoil this film, but I still think I’m going to cut and run here. This is a movie that needs to be seen to be discussed properly and I have a sudden craving to watch it again.

Rating:

Directed by Ivan Reitman
Staring David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Orlando Jones, Ted Levine and Seann William Scott
Released in 2001

Let’s just get this out of the way. This movie is pure camp. I don’t know if you can get any closer to Duchovny spoofing his time as Agent Mulder than this; which is probably one of the reasons I find it so amusing.

Evolution is about two college professors, Ira Kane (Duchovny) and Harry Block (Jones), who stumble upon an alien life that landed on top of cadet firefighter Wayne Grey’s (Scott) car. Their discovery of this rapidly evolving alien life is overtaken by the government and put under General Russell Woodman’s (Levine) thumb and Doctor Allison Reed’s (Moore) scientific probing. Kane and Block try to get back involved with the discovery and, with Grey and Reed, wind up saving the city.

Ok, that’s enough, before I actually spoil this thing. This is just fun, but you have to turn it on with the knowledge that this is not a serious film. I think too many people went to see this in the theater and were expecting it to be serious because of Duchovny and the alien basis of the story. With Reitman, who also directed Ghostbusters (1 and 2), at the helm, you shouldn’t expect anything perfectly serious anyway.

I think I’ve seen this far too many times. I used to flip back and forth between this and A Knight’s Tale when I was in Kansas. If this wasn’t on the television, A Knight’s Tale was, and no matter how many times I’ve seen this I still see something I didn’t see before and I haven’t stopped laughing. “Kaka kaka” and “Tukki tukki tukki” have become one-liner jokes between me and some of my friends.

And if you get that creepy feeling every time General Russell Woodman comes on the screen, don’t worry, its not just you -or in my case maybe it is just me - but the man has just been creepy since he played Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs.

Look for a nice cameo role from Dan Aykroyd and just sit back and enjoy the film.

Rating: