Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring – It’s Creepy Phone
Sing song sing song sing song sing – It’s Creepy PhoooooooonE!
Bla bla bla Scary!
Bla bla bla Wary!
Somethin’ somethin’ somethin’ bla bla-

Anyway.. I wanna talk about ring tones. More specifically, cool ring tones. And even more specifically than that: Cool PODIOBOOK ring tones. Oh yes, these wacky, wacky podcast authors will stop at NOTHING to promote their stories, will they? It’s shameless! It’s- it’s .. uh.. what’s better than shameless? OOH OOH It’s Gratuitous!

That’s what it is.

Okay. So, you must be thinking, “podcast ringtones? Double-ewe Tea Eff? Srsly?!” And I say, “Oh yes, totally!” and then we probably talk about what’s for lunch and stuff. But that’s .. entirely different. Let’s not talk about lunch (I’m having ramen); let’s talk about the ring tones.

Mr. Phil Rossi’s
Mr. Scott Sigler’s
Mr. J.C. Hutchins’

Those are the links to the different podcaster ringtones That I have heard (so far?). And I have downloaded some from each, so my phone is all horrorific and creepified now.

J.C. Hutchins’ ringtones feature some of his readers’ favorite characters announcing a phonecall, or otherwise getting your attention. I personally suggest lending an ear to the “Killroy 2.0” soundbits – ESPECIALLY the gigging one. Though, Jack does do a good job of letting you know that he doesn’t know who’s calling. Also, if you don’t see a character you wanna hear a ringtone from, Mr. Hutchins takes requests. So. You know. Awesome.

Scott Sigler’s ringtones are evil. Um.. that’s about it. Evil. Whatever you do, do NOT go listen to these- okay DO go listen. They are fun (but evil) Especially the “We hungry” one. I am also pretty keen to the “Scott Sigler wans to kill you” one. Though (Pssst, Scott! Update!) You can also get phone wallpaper, like that groovy blue triangle eyeball thingy.. Ooh and if you want a pretty psychotic sounding one, get the “discipline” ringer.

Phil Rossi has made available some of the songs from his podcast novel’s score. My favorite is #4 (Otherside). It’s like, industrial / groove / scary and the dude sings! His ringtones are easy to acquire. Just text PHILROSSI 4 to 9337 and it will be zapped to your phone (you can also type 2 or 3 or 5 in place of the number.. but there IS a space between PHILROSSI and the number) Otherwise, you can click the link above and go right to his page. Also, if you check out this page of his you can purchase the Crescent soundtrack, which, dude, is pretty freakin’ awesome.. in a “so evil this man must be stopped” kind of a way.

Of course, all of this is just a marketing ploy. The sole purpose of these ringtones is to get more listeners. They all have an agenda! I mean, That Hutchins guy has this.. super secret project, and Obsidian going on.
Pshhhfbbt. He’s just looking to get more listeners. OH And guess WHAT?! Seventh Son is hitting the shelves in main stream publication next year. Coincidence? HAH!

And this Sigler monster. You think he’s all innocent and- well we all know he eats babies and kittens. But what could he POSSIBLY be selling, right? Well, his novel Infected did just hit the shelves on April 1 this year.. So he’s just trying to get more buyers. And guess what? There’s gonna be a sequel! There’s all KINDS of sequels gonna be coming out of this guy. He’s after your money, friends. Your money and your sweet, delicious kittens.

“Ooh, but what about Phil Rossi?” You ask. “He’s not part of any evil conspiracy. How could he be?” Ho ho, joke’s on YOU! You know those scary @$$ vignettes he’s composed? The ones that keep me awake at night, jumping at every creepy, mechanical sound? Well, I have it on good authority that he’s making more! And whatever you do, do NOT visit his Myspace page or his music will instantly addict you.

Good morning readers.  We’ve had some trouble on the back end of the server the last few days and are working on a fix.  This may include finally upgrading WordPress.  Therefore I’ve been archiving articles and hope to be back up and running at full steam as soon as possible.

Next week look for pieces about bad ass ring tones, Nathan Lowell’s South Coast, Cloverfield and much more.

Thank you for your patience and remember if you’re going to waste time, waste it well.

Ok, I don’t really know how to self market. The closest I get to it is tweeting when I’ve done a review about a podcast. So, I’m new to this whole promotion thing, I’ve been working on flyers all morning and I simply don’t know what to say about my personal project outside of this blog.

I’ve mentioned a cookbook a few times while blogging and it’s finally finished and available. It’s a small collection of 50 recipes that range from main courses to low and full sugar desserts and side dishes. These recipes have been tested on Nick, Jenn and Sloane and I didn’t get any complaints from them – Nick and Sloane were making excuses on what “deserved a cookie” when I made Puddin’ Cookies.

So, please enjoy the recipe below (the afformentioned Puddin’ Cookies, submitted by my father) with my compliments and if you’d like to try others you can head to Lulu and pick up Comfort Cooking. Certainly if anything is time well wasted cooking is.

Keep your knives sharp, your marble boards cold and your cooking creative.

Read the rest of this entry »

I think in discussing Quarter and Half Share that I’ve made it empirically clear that I like Nathan Lowell’s Trader’s Tales (what I’ve been calling the “Share Novels”). I did not get the chance to tell you that I had a favorite in the Tales simply because we hadn’t reached it yet. Now we have.

Quarter and Half Share were a pleasant build up for a stellar story. Full Share knocks the earlier novels out of the park. It has a plot, as well as its character driven action, and contains both my favorite sub character (Cassandra Harrison) and line.

A plot you say? Yes, a plot; a simple but obvious one that only assists with the growth and development of Ish. The plot brings about my favorite line, “I have it on authority that they teach sneakiness at the academy” and revolves around Ish keeping his berth on the SC Lois McKendrick. You didn’t think I was going to tell you what the plot details were did you?

The writing seems a touch stronger here, and it may have to do with the fact there is a subtle plot to go along with and force the growth and development of more than one character. I found myself on the edge of my seat a couple of times, which hasn’t happened in a while, anxious to know how something was going to work itself out.

I will admit to what I would call an issue. The very first episode of Full Share has a different resonance in voice and production. There’s an additional, if mild, echo as well. This threw me considering I’d gone from the last episode of Half Share and straight into Full Share. Having heard it a few times it’s not as jarring as it originally was. There are also a few yawned and exhaustedly spoken lines that do jar me for a moment, for plot reasons, but outside of those tiny things, this production is as solid as the others.

Praise and minor criticism aside I can only say that I’m looking forward to Double Share with much eagerness. Nathan also has South Coast, a Shaman’s Tale, that is about the Kruge family and I’ll be turning into that this week and turning in a review for that later this month. I encourage you to check out the Trader’s Tales and hope that you will find them as enjoyable as I have.

Rating:

Ladies and gentlemen of the audience, Please allow me to take just another moment of your time to tell you about a most interesting story. I would like to talk to you about Phil Rossi’s Crescent, and his creepy @$$ Vignettes.

As a little boy, I liked space opera and science fiction. I do not know when, exactly, I turned away from space and turned all of my attention to fantasy and wizards. (delicious, delicious wizards) But it happened, and I read no sci-fi for .. many many lifetimes.. okay, maybe about 20 some years..

ANYWAY

I first heard Mr. Rossi’s voice in another podiostory, and Crescent kept popping up on said story’s page, so I decided to listen. It sounded fun and creepy- space thrills and all that- and, I dig the dude’s voice, so why not, eh?

In a nutshell, it’s about a salvage ship captain who gets himself involved in a lucrative, but unfortunate business deal with the mayor of a massive and terrifying station orbiting a planet in the deepest reaches of known space. The mayor’s psychopathic management style becomes the least of the hero’s concerns as horrible, supernatural events threaten to rip the station and everyone on it to pieces. Sounds like a nice, cozy little story to listen to right before bedtime, no?

Oh- Oh no.

This novel is quite anything but cozy. And *I* wouldn’t advise listening to it before bed unless you like to change the sheets in the morning.. IF you know what I mean. This is one freakin’ scary story. There’s GALLONS of blood- Fountains of gore- heaps of terribleness (I am allowed to make up words) terriblosity. This dude doesn’t kill characters; he disassembles them. It’s gruesome and merciless and some folks you don’t think are gonna get it, get it in the worst ways!

There is also a smattering of- Hmmm.. how to be tactful.. grown-up encounters of the outer-space, guy, girl, sweaty, funky, just downright musky scenes. Awe yeah! Teh sehcks in space. And even from my own, somewhat biased perspective, it’s pretty durn hotly written.

Now, there are just a couple things about the story that I flat out didn’t get. It seems in one or two places a plot element is exposed for which there didn’t seem to be much buildup or explanation. And, the ending might come across as kinda… let’s say “big”.. BUT if you think of this as Sweaty Lovecraft in Space, then it all works out JUST right.

Oh yeah, baby. Sexy Space Cthulhu.

Well, now I’d like to yammer a bit about Mur Lafferty’s Playing For Keeps.

Fantastic!!

This novel is set in a very recognizable future, where a small fraction of the population has developed super powers. There are the usual players: Heroes, Villains, Police.. But there are also those people who’ve developed.. Hmm.. let’s not call them “powers”. Let’s call them.. special quirks. There’s a chick who will never drop her bar tray. There’s a dude who shoots poop out of his hands. Ooh ooh, and a guy who has ultimate, unquestioned power and control.. over elevators. And then there’s our heroine: Keepsie. Her special power: nothing belonging to her can be stolen.

The story is comfortable and easy to follow. Mur’s performance and writing are really, just delightful. She’s got some teeth, and characters to buy the farm, but it’s not a slaughter fest, which I appreciated. Ooh ooh! And another thing I loved.. Occasionally things would come up in the story, and I’m all like “Wait a minute.. That’s not right because of X Y and Z!!” Then, come to find out, I was right. It’s fun, it’s well put together, and I cared about the characters. Brava! Brava!

I feel a little compelled to say at least something negative, I mean, this isn’t much of an exercise in critique if all I do is gush, right? Hmm, Well, okay, in the beginning, it’s a little hard to keep track of the heroes and their powers. Or, well, the Pseudoheroes. Everyone is very normal, very average (and I think that’s the point) but, I found myself in a couple places wishing I’d kept a list. This levels out though.

Okay, the next thing is not a complaint, so much as a “I hope in the second book she…” statement. Next time, I’d like more in depth exploration of the would be heroes’ powers. We got a great look at them in this book, but if there is a sequel and series to follow (hope hope beg plead hope) then that is one thing I’d like to see more of, How the powers feel to use, how they become instinctive- second nature.. Stuff like that.

Again, we got a great look at that in Playing For Keeps, but I’d like to see even more in the next one.

Seriously, scroll through the entries here, cause there’s a vblog story that’s a lot of fun! And there’s merchandising! That means you can go buy stuff. So, naturally, I compell you. Compelllll compellllll!(Not gonna say it’s adult, compared to other stuff, but there is some violence, some death and some kinda graphic stuff. If you’re SUPER squeamish, maybe have someone screen the “eeeew” bits for you )

I don’t know that I have the right words to write about how good Half Share is. I think that Nathan Lowell struck gold with this book, coming hot off the heels of Quarter Share; maybe a few days have passed since one ended and the second began.

Half Share doesn’t spare the audience either, opening with Pip and Ish being called into the Ship’s Office and meeting with nearly every officer on the Lois. Where in Quarter Share we got to listen to Ish’ adventures in adjusting to life space side, Half Share gives up the opportunity to hear him grow into his place and realize what kind of man he thinks he is.

Nathan doesn’t spare the graphical descriptions in this book either. In addition to detailing the ship as Ish is moved to a new section and new duties we get a nice description of Ish himself. A pair of chapters midway through the book, with Bev, Diane and Brill taking Ishmael shopping, are so nicely described that even a hint of imagination will have you picturing the scene in your mind. It’s a nice set of scenes that bind Ish to these women in more ways than simple chains of friendship can do and it’s written out beautifully.

I’m going to keep it short and sweet before I spoil something and this story is far too good to be spoiled. The character development is still phenomenal and I love not having a plot based story that is this good.

The Full Share review will be up sometime tomorrow, and hopefully make a bit more sense and be more engaging than this one is. Half Share is an excellent waste of time and I hope that you’ll enjoy it when you give it a shot.

Rating:

If you want the skinny on character driven fiction, then this is the first step you need to take, listen to Nathan Lowell’s Quarter Share. Lowell has taken on the space opera and breathed into a new life and enjoyment, at least for me, by making it about the characters and not about a plot. Truth be told, I can’t find an overwhelming plot within the confines of Quarter Share and I’ve listened to it twice.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, it has a plot. A small one consisting of main character Ishmael Horatio Wang and how he must leave the planet he’s accustomed to and take a berth on the SC Lois McKendrick. The plot is mostly his acclimatization to the spacer’s life and figuring out what he wants to do now that he’s on ship. While this plot works its way beneath the characters it’s still there, but it is definitely the characters that drive the story and make it as good as it is.

The minute Ishmael (Ish) steps aboard the Lois his life is changed when he’s surrounded by new people and new tasks. At no time does Ish complain about his new life, instead he embraces it and learns how to make it work for him. He finds himself making friends unexpectedly and easily and each of Ish’s new friends is as delightfully detailed as Ish himself.

Within the covers of Quarter Share, Ish is galley bound and we get a series running joke about coffee in the third chapter. A joke that never fails to bring a smile to my lips each time coffee is mentioned in the story. Perhaps its as amusing as it is because I’m a coffee fiend myself.

I could go on for pages about all that is good and wholesome about this story. There’s no graphic, “ickitah” as Nick would say, sex; little cursing that I’ve noticed and no ugly, violent monsters. No visable violence. Even details that could drag on for paragraphs are summed up nicely and without boring the life out of the listener.

Additionally there’s a phenomenal website that has a Ship’s Roster, the specs of the SC Lois McKendrick, and all the details you could want for Nathan’s stories. If you’re not listening to Quarter Share yet, you should be, especially if you enjoy well developed characters.

Reviews of Half Share and Full Share will follow during the week, and while yes, I have already listened to them, Nathan has an excellent voice for weaving a story.  If they ever hit dead tree version, they are on my shelf.

Rating:

Murder by the Book in Houston hosted a veritable flood of Junkies/Syndicate Members for the Infected reading. We filled the place, I think there was maybe 80 of us, give or take and standing room only as well. The shop sold out of books so I’d think they had a good day.

Scott got a huge cheer when he entered and we got down to business with the reading of Infected. Afterward there was a Q&A session where I think we all talked about The Rookie more than we did Infected. We did hear that the sales were going well so the future looks bright for other podcast novelists. At least, I hope it does.

After the reading and Q&A was the book signing and the shop had given out numbers so it wasn’t a rush of Junkies overwhelming the Overlord. When it came time for Jenn and I to get our copies signed she handed over the Triangle of Triangles little table-runner thing that had been made and I offered up my stuffed crocheted Hatchling. The highlight of my night was that he actually liked it. And here I was all terrified that he wouldn’t. I’m silly like that.

The signing was great, the dinner and pubcrawl afterward was awesome. There were Junkies all over Two Rows and Scott went from table to table to talk with his fans. We didn’t bring the camera to the restaurant though, sorry, no pictures of that.

I would call it a successful event as it looked like everyone had a lot of fun. Sigler was even nice at some moments, probably to prove he could be. I know I’m looking forward to more of these events, either with the Dark Overlord or other members of the podcasting novelist crew. Maybe we can even convince them to come to Austin next time.

Thanks Scott for taking the time to spend with your fans. I know this one appreciates it.