Go out and get yourself a FIRST life!

So, for a couple years now (it feels that way) I’ve really envied anyone who can get onto the virtual reality community called Second Life.  See, when I was in High School, I wrote a story (more like a 346 page novel) based in a scifi / fantasy setting, where people could log in to a VR universe.  Therefore, when Second Life came out I was all, “Pa- Payow!”.  But, I never had a computer that could run SL until just recently.

My buddy wyped Vista off this computer I have and installed some .. linux stuff and low- and behold, I can run SL!  So, I run right out, download and install it, and get to tooling around.

My High School fantasy come true.  Two years of waiting and envy have come to and end.  I am on.  Second Life.

Dun, Dun, Emming Effing Dumb!  What a friggin waste of all that emo and plex!  I mean, my computer isn’t super graphix max awesome, yeah, but it’s not shoebox with wires either.  So, I log in, wait for things to res. Wait for the world to render, wait for my avatar to appear and then..  nothing

I’m in a weird looking world comprised of bunches of random props that just do not relate to one another, watching a bunch of awkwardly animated characters mull around striking arbitrary poses while making occasional lewd noises.  I met one of my friends there who gave me a cool dragon costume, and then was promptly assaulted by someone wearing assless pejamas with smiley faces all over them who was trying to cyber hump me to some stupid techno song I haven’t heard since 2002.

I can fly.  Wee.  I can walk around under water.  Wee.  I can look at creepy avatars.  Wee.

OR I can slam my fingers in a car door and get about as much enjoyment out of my time.  OOH my gawds, people, What a waste of bandwidth and time.

Sure, there may be some worlds therein with neat scenery and pros with which you can interact in some meaningful way.  Maybe there is a plot SOMEwhere – or SOME role-playing, but damned if I have the patience to find it.  So, I say BOOO!   BOO to Second Life.

Boo, Boo, Boo, it’s a waste of your first life, Boo.  I’ll be sure to write even more about how I hate it after I log out. IN- a few hours.

Its like internet crack, and the HIGH isn’t even that good!

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